Archive for September 26th, 2009

Unemployment Top 10 List

Those of you who watch Dave Letterman are familiar with his nightly top 10 list. Every night he does a top 10 list making fun of something. Sometimes they’re funny, other times not so much. As I prepare for work in a little over a week, I want to remember all the good things about being unemployed. So here are the Top 1o things I will miss about being unemployed.
  1. My bi-weekly Teleserve calls filing my unemployment benefits where I answer the same questions week after week only to have Uncle Sam pay me a whopping $410/week!
  2. Paying $150/month for COBRA. (Thank God Obama passed the COBRA subsidy or I seriously would have been one of the million uninsured people in the country. Sad.)
  3. Drinking a glass (or three) of wine at 11:30am, 1:30pm or whenever I feel like it.
  4. Watching every possible TV show that comes on during the day. You name it, I’ve seen it.
  5. Being available to do whatever, whenever like spending days at the museums, attending morning tapings of The Judge Mathis show, standing in line at Hot Doug’s for two hours waiting for sausages Friday at 1pm, being available to tape the Black Eyed Peas group dance for The Oprah Show, kicking it hard four to five nights a week with my other laid off friends.
  6. Being told, “Your background looks great”, then two days later, “we’ve decided to move forward with another candidate”. Great.
  7. Attending my Movie Days when I go to the movies and watch three (sometimes four) movies in a day all for the price of one. I’m a rebel, I know!
  8. Hearing the surprise in people’s voices when I say that I’ve had a busy day.
  9. Having an active dating life because men actually liked the fact that I was homeless and jobless because it meant I had time. Who knew my stock would go up by simply losing my job?
  10. Getting crazy looks from people trying to understand my logic for traveling for three months when I had no job and then seeing that look turn to envy minutes later once they recognized my genius.

It’s just starting to sink in that my new found lifestyle is about to change. I guess I will have to mourn this loss like I did the loss of my job, but until then I have 10 days to rock on.

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