Archive for April, 2010

Living in the AND

“You need to find a way to scratch that itch without completely jumping ship. – J.Forde

Recently a friend told me that I needed to find a way to scratch my travel itch without completely jumping ship. What she meant was that I need to find a more scaled down way to satisfy that need that is more closely aligned to my current lifestyle. This whole conversation began when I told her about an amazing opportunity that included moving to Johannesburg, South Africa. Needless to say I got so excited about this initially and for a moment considered uprooting everything and moving. I mean, why not? I’ve always wanted to live and work internationally.  Well, her comment made me pause because most people take one side or the other. Go for it…or…Don’t do it!  She was telling me to find a happy medium. Find a way to satiate my love and desire to see the world without abandoning everything that’s important to me and that I love about my life now. I needed to find the AND in this situation instead of the OR.   Find a way to travel AND keep the job that I already have and really like…..AND stay close to my family…AND….the list goes on.  Living in the context of AND is appropriate for this situation, but not all. The next step is to figure out what degree of travel will satisfy my need to see the world. I don’t know what that is just yet, but I do feel good in my decision to stay put AND create a plan to fulfill more of my desires instead swapping one out for another.

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Are YOU your biggest hater?

Lately the world seems to be full of haters according to those 25 and younger. If you listen to music and status updates on social networking sites, you’d think that “hating on people” was a full-time, well paying job.  This is not a new profession, it’s just talked about more than ever.

Everyone is faced with a road block or negative energy when they’re trying to pursue something positive. When you’re clear on your mission no one can stand in your way unless you let them. Some people get so caught up in what other people are saying that they end up spending more energy trying to address “the haters”, than they do pursuing their goals. When this happens you end up working against yourself and losing sight of what’s important. The haters have been successful because you have become one of them.

Remember that for every one hater, there are 10 people cheering you on. Unfortunately, those people often get overshadowed. Rely on these folks for positive reinforcement to stay focused and keep it moving. Kick dust on the haters by not giving them the time of day. I can’t say that I have any haters because I spot them early in the game and then move as far away from them as I can. I only know the amazing  friends and family who support me.

Focus on your path. Jump over road blocks. Surround yourself with good people.

If it’s still on your mind, then do it…

I have this rule of thumb. Whenever I see or want to do something and the question, “Should I do it?” pops in my head, I wait two weeks to see if it’s still on my mind. If, at that point, I still want to do it, then I do it. This strategy works well because it keeps me from making rash decisions. It works in specific circumstances like when I want to buy something expensive or want to push myself to do something that I could easily talk myself out of .  So how does this play out in my head, you ask? Well I’ll give an examples.

I’m a financially conscious person, but I do like nice things. In my early twenties, I had two guilty, expensive pleasures: purses and sunglasses. Spending money on these things have grown less important as I’ve gotten older and it has been over six years since I’ve spent over $40 on either. Well recently I decided that I was going to buy a pair of designer sunglasses as a treat to myself. I decided this about a month ago and I haven’t really thought about it since. So that’s that. It’s not on my mind, so I’m not buying it.

Recently, two things have come about that made me really excited. In both situations, I created a master plan in my head for what to do. Within 24 hours, I had slowly talked myself out of doing either and didn’t take action on either. So here I am two weeks later and still thinking about one on a daily basis. So today I’m taking action. It doesn’t cost any money so I’m not losing anything by taking action. It just forces me to step outside my comfortable zone and take a big risk. Actually they both do. The two weeks has passed for one and I’ve decided to take action. Let’s see what I decide to do with the second.

Update: I bought the sunglasses! I know I said that they weren’t on my mind, BUT I found a cute pair on a designer discount site and could not pass up the opportunity to get a pair 65% off. It’s the best of both worlds. Yes!