I have this rule of thumb. Whenever I see or want to do something and the question, “Should I do it?” pops in my head, I wait two weeks to see if it’s still on my mind. If, at that point, I still want to do it, then I do it. This strategy works well because it keeps me from making rash decisions. It works in specific circumstances like when I want to buy something expensive or want to push myself to do something that I could easily talk myself out of . So how does this play out in my head, you ask? Well I’ll give an examples.
I’m a financially conscious person, but I do like nice things. In my early twenties, I had two guilty, expensive pleasures: purses and sunglasses. Spending money on these things have grown less important as I’ve gotten older and it has been over six years since I’ve spent over $40 on either. Well recently I decided that I was going to buy a pair of designer sunglasses as a treat to myself. I decided this about a month ago and I haven’t really thought about it since. So that’s that. It’s not on my mind, so I’m not buying it.
Recently, two things have come about that made me really excited. In both situations, I created a master plan in my head for what to do. Within 24 hours, I had slowly talked myself out of doing either and didn’t take action on either. So here I am two weeks later and still thinking about one on a daily basis. So today I’m taking action. It doesn’t cost any money so I’m not losing anything by taking action. It just forces me to step outside my comfortable zone and take a big risk. Actually they both do. The two weeks has passed for one and I’ve decided to take action. Let’s see what I decide to do with the second.
Update: I bought the sunglasses! I know I said that they weren’t on my mind, BUT I found a cute pair on a designer discount site and could not pass up the opportunity to get a pair 65% off. It’s the best of both worlds. Yes!
“Being selfish is self care”. Michael Losier, Author of Law of Attraction
There’s something to be said for traveling alone and enjoying your own company. I understand that I skew towards the I (introvert) on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator personality test, which means I get energy from myself versus from other people. It does not mean I’m shy, quiet or timid, which is what people usually assume when they hear the word introvert. Anyway, now that that’s cleared up back to traveling.
This week alone is what I needed and I’m loving it. Don’t get me wrong, I had a great time with Ana and Kate in Madrid and am thankful that they’re here with me, but it was time for me to recharge. Anyone who knows me, can attest to my need to shut down and be quiet or go off alone for a while. I love being in social settings and can sometimes be the life of the party, but there’s always a point where I just need to be. So this week is that for me.
I love being able to do what I want to do when I want to do it without taking into consideration someone else’s desires, interests, likes, etc. I can be 100% selfish! Some people may feel uncomfortable saying that, but I don’t because I’m doing what I need to do to take care of myself; to continue to grow as a person. Michael Losier describes being selfish as self care. I like this because it sets criteria for positive sefishness. Things you do to aid in taking care of yourself versus doing it to keep it from or to spite someone else.
Remember what they tell you on the the airplane, put your mask on first before you help someone else with theirs. You are no use to others if you’re not healthy yourself. You also can never reach your full potential if you’re always focused on others. There is nothing wrong with taking time to recharge on a regular basis. So practice a little daily selfishness and don’t feel bad about it.
Every woman should own a pair of red pumps! I was recently introduced to these magical creatures a few weeks ago when I went on a mini shopping spree for the first time in two years. It was completely impulsive and I probably wasted $100, but it was worth every penny. When I spotted them, it was like love at first sight. I tried them on and got a reaction like no other. Two older women yelled at me, “Those look fabulous! You have to get them.” The salesmen chimed in and told me how beautiful they looked. I didn’t know if the compliments were meant for me or the shoes, but I didn’t care. I felt sexy, beautiful, and confident. At that moment, my legs became my favorite show piece. I’ve always had hangups about my legs because I thought they were too big. They are big, but that is what makes them attractive. So why did it take 28 years and a pair of red heels for me to realize this?
Red has always been a powerful color in my life. It represents heat, passion and energy. As a child, I was drawn to fire and once burned my finger because I couldn’t contain my curiosity. This experience made me fearful of the color red. Once I realized the power and danger associated with red, I tried to stay away from it, but somehow I couldn’t. The color was there when I had my first bad accident and scraped my knee to the bone from a fall on the concrete. It hurt like hell, but I couldn’t stop looking at the deep, rich color of my blood. I was thankful to oxygen for giving it such a vibrant color. I felt quite exposed and vulnerable at that moment, and loved it. When we bleed we are releasing a small part of our lifeline to the universe, sharing our inner beauty and soul with the world; something that’s rarely done. I realized that instead of running from the color…from the electricity…from the power…from myself, it was time to embrace it.
The turning point in my love-hate relationship with red came in college. The colors of the sorority that I pledged were Crimson and Crème. This time, when red was forced upon me, I embraced it! I made a commitment to the color and wore it proudly. In this new context, it represented the leadership, confidence, and greatness of the thousands of women who came before me. It was then that I knew that red always had been and always would be a part of me. I rediscovered this when I tried on that pair of red heels. Like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, I was transported to a magical place; one of confidence, self-love, and freedom. I was reminded once again that I am beautiful.